U.S. Army veteran, Mary Levey, served 12 years in the military and one tour in Iraq. Despite facing mental health struggles, physical ailments and the challenges of being a single mother, Levey proudly stands by her decision of joining the military at the age of 17. Levey's story is the latest in our 'I Am a Veteran' campaign.
With high school graduation fast approaching, Levey was left with the question that many students face – what’s next? With a passion for culinary arts and the desire to explore the world, she made the decision to join the U.S. Army as a cook.
“As a junior, I had no idea what I wanted to do after high school,” Levey recalled. “I knew I wanted to get away from my hometown to really explore what’s out there, so after a few conversations I decided to be a cook in the Army.”
Levey’s aspiration to explore would be fulfilled throughout her military career, but the transition would be a very eye-opening experience. With having never flown on a plane or being away from home for long periods of time, she embarked into the unknown.
While at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, Levey became pregnant with her first child at the age of 19 and became a single mother. In April of 2000, her daughter, Kayla, was born.
“I was one of the first hundred babies born in the new hospital on Fort Bragg,” Kayla said with a smile. “My mom likes to remind me of that all the time.”
“Becoming a single mother was hard and I worked in a dining facility where my hours weren’t the same as other soldiers,” Levey said. “I did my best to not let my role as a single mom affect my job.”
With a strong support system from her peers and relatives, Levey was able to take on her new role as a single mother while still serving her country. Soon after the birth of her daughter, Levey transferred to Fort Stewart, Georgia, where her grandma moved in with her to assist with raising Kayla.
Not long after her move to Georgia, Levey met her first husband. They would eventually get married, she would transition to the Army Reserves and become pregnant with their son. Life was going well for Levey and her family with the anticipation of the arrival of her second child. However, another challenge was thrown in their path when her husband got notified that he would be deploying to Afghanistan for a year.
When her husband deployed, she moved back to Michigan to live with her parents. Shortly after her move back, her son, Walker, was born in July of 2004. Just six months later, she received notice that she would be deploying to Iraq.
“It was hard, but when my deployment orders came down, my parents were the most supportive,” Levey said. “They served their country by being there for me and taking care of their grandkids for over a year without any hesitation.”
As Levey was deploying to Iraq, her husband was coming back from his deployment in Afghanistan. With the timeline of both of their deployments, they went over two years without seeing each other. Her husband went through this transition and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) without his wife. After his return home and being medically discharged from the military, he suffered with substance use and eventually lost his battle with PTSD. Levey and her family mourned the loss of the father that he could have been to their children.
“I know my deployment compared to his was two very different things,” Levey recalled. “He was devastated with what he experienced over there, and he just wasn’t the same person.”
“The older I got the more people were talking about the statistics of veterans coming home and committing suicide,” Kayla said. “I then realized that my dad was a part of that statistic and that was really hard to swallow.”
“How the story was portrayed to me was that he got denied help and it makes me feel like the country betrayed him,” Walker said. “If he had that help then maybe he’d still be here, and I would’ve met him because I never met my father.”
In 2006, Levey returned to Michigan from her deployment in Iraq. She planned to transition back into her role as a mom smoothly but was a harder shift than she expected. When she returned home, her children had grown a year older and shaped strong bonds without her. Her youngest child, Walker, treated her like a stranger which left Levey feeling frustrated and broken.
“I had an angry response to my son not wanting to be with his mom and it wasn’t the right thing to do,” Levey explained. “I needed to learn how to go from being a soldier to being mom.”
Levey went to counseling for over six months to help process the trials and mental health struggles she was facing after her deployment. Throughout this time, she began to process her emotions, step back into motherhood and acknowledge the impact her deployment had on her family.
“It wasn’t just me deploying, it was my whole family that went through that deployment with me,” Levey said. “I think we sometimes forget the military child and what they go through.”
Over the course of her 12-year military career, Levey and her children moved six times across the country before officially returning to Michigan in 2016. Her children would experience parental absence during deployments, the hard adjustments to new schools and the perseverance it takes to be a military child.
“Moving every few years was definitely rough,” Kayla recalled. “Especially moving during the middle of my sophomore year of high school to a non-military school was terrible.”
“I think it’s important for military children to be recognized because we go through a lot,” Walker said. “It was really hard on me, but I believe it gave me good life skills in the end.”
Both Kayla and Walker explained the positive impact that social media had on staying connected to their peers throughout their moves. Additionally, they always kept a strong bond with their relatives in Michigan through frequent summer visits and constant communication. They proudly call their grandparents’ house their ‘home base.’
In 2011, Levey welcomed her third child, Kaden, while living in California. Three weeks after he was born, her second husband deployed to Korea. Shortly after his deployment, their final move back to Michigan, Levey officially discharging from the military and a marital separation, Levey became a single mother again to three children. However, she was determined to continue her path of serving others. After many obstacles and unexpected turns, she graduated from Central Michigan University and began working as a teacher within her mother’s alternative education program at Ovid-Elsie Area Schools. After her mother’s retirement, Levey took over the program.
“When I first joined the Army, I was determined that I wouldn’t come back here,” Levey said. “Then when I came back, I realized I love being close to family and I’ve missed this.”
It was a full circle moment for her in 2023 when she bought her new house, that’s right across from her childhood home. Through all the trials that her and her family endured during her military service, they reflect on their journey with honor and admiration.
“My mom is a very strong person, and I feel so proud of her,” Walker said. “We’ve had a tough road, and we got through it together.”
“I’m grateful for the childhood I had even though it wasn’t easy,” Kayla said. “I’m proud of her and everything that she overcame and is still dealing with like the health struggles she’s got going on now.”
“I raised my hand and swore and oath to my country to defend it and I did,” Mary said. “If I could go back there’s probably a few things I would change, but I would still proudly sign that contract at 17.”
