Fat!So? Hmmm. This past Saturday, on my radio show Everyday
Leadership: Making Work Work, Marilyn Wann talked about the
unfair treatment of fat people at work. She's no whiner. She
is the author of a book, magazine and website, which all go by
the name of Fat!So? (Note: Avoid her website if you can't
handle the sight of exposed derrieres.) She said she doesn't
like the term "overweight," because that implies fat people are
over some norm, and are bad or wrong or weak for being so. She
noted that many people are big or fat, just as some people are
black, female, old, young, or homosexual. Being fat is part of
the wonder of genetic diversity. She says fat people shouldn't
apologize for it, and we shouldn't discriminate against people
because of it.
The naked truth is that discrimination costs us in
productivity. If I'm an owner or executive director, I want
everyone fully involved. I don't want anyone feeling like
they're not being listened to, or are being passed over for
jobs. I want pathways to ideas and leadership open to all
talent, irrespective of irrelevant considerations of
appearance. I want them fired up and feeling fully engaged and
excited about our work.
Some would say "bias is just perception, and often false
perception." I would say: perception is truth in this case.
When people FEEL like they are being treated unfairly, a few of
them will respond by working that much harder to prove
themselves. But many will start to check-out, complain behind
your back, and feel justified in giving less, because they feel
they're getting less.
So, what do we - especially managers - do to keep everyone in
the game? Four things:
Examine our own thinking, and our hidden biases, and root out
those biases. Workplace culture follows leaders. If we think
and speak and act in ways that promote diversity, people will
follow. I know I have negative thoughts about some "different"
people, because I live in a culture that creates that noise. I
don't ask for those thoughts but there they are, so I have to
catch them and choose to set them aside as irrelevant and
unhelpful.
Clearly and frequently articulate that "diversity is in" and
discrimination is unacceptable.
Proactively ask others whether they feel included and engaged
and whether opportunities are fairly given. You can build your
own (free) surveys easily with sites like
www.surveymonkey.com, but I strongly recommend the use of
diversity trainers who can help you work with the data.
Finally, we need a totally different attitude than our typical
right-wrong mentality. Instead, we need to seek first to
understand. I may say something with the best of all
intentions, yet someone could have been deeply hurt, or "heard"
a message I never intended. If my culture is safe enough for
them to talk to me, and if I listen well, I can hear that they
were hurt and learn in the future. And by listening to me, they
can understand what I really meant. Both perceptions are real.
Neither was "right" nor "wrong" in the first case. The more
hospitably we share ideas, and the more powerfully we seek to
listen and learn, the more we can create a shared reality that
works for both or all.
You get everyone fully in the game, when you
Lead with your best self.
Dan